


Synergy

by LethalBrownie



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Force-Sensitive Reader, Kylo Ren and his casual kidnapping, Kylo is such a yoga master, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn, The dude has no manners, a lot of hate
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2018-09-16 16:54:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9280925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LethalBrownie/pseuds/LethalBrownie
Summary: Going with your gut instinct you slowly raise your arm. “Why am I here?”“Your fate will be revealed in due time.”Well, thanks a bunch that really clears things up.“I expect to see progress the next we meet. You are dismissed.” With that, the hologram disappears.To think, just yesterday you were camping with your family, having the time of your life with your loved ones. Now, you’re stuck somewhere with people who refuse to answer your questions. One way or another, you will get the answers you desire. You will escape. You will get your family back.





	1. Monstrous

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't sleep so I wrote this...
> 
> Enjoy <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Going with your gut instinct you slowly raise your arm. “Why am I here?”
> 
> “Your fate will be revealed in due time. I expect to see progress the next we meet. You are dismissed.” With that, the hologram disappears.
> 
> To think, just yesterday you were camping with your family, having the time of your life with your loved ones. Now, you’re stuck somewhere with people who refuse to answer your questions. One way or another, you will get the answers you desire. You _will_ escape. You _will_ get your family back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy <3

Disorientated, you wake up inside your tent to the sound of a shrill scream. In a hurry, you unzip your tent, peering out into the destruction that is your makeshift campsite. Looking around yours and your family’s tents, burning hot fire surrounds you. You have no idea how you could possibly survive this - not to be dramatic - but you’re surrounded by your inevitable death, especially since you don’t have enough water to put it all out. 

The beautiful nature that you had come to Takodana to see was being destroyed by some mystery bad guys that have yet to show themselves. Then again, why would they ever come near you? Given that you’re basically in the middle of a fire death pit. You’re probably just an unfortunate victim that has gotten caught up in someone else’s business. 

You duck back into your tent, pinching yourself – rather hard, you might add – just to make sure that what’s happening isn’t some messed up nightmare as a result of eating too much ice cream before bed.

Taking three deep breaths of the smoke-filled air, you ready yourself for your act of bravery, a very stupid act, but brave nonetheless. 

Completely unzipping your tent, you run outside and to the one next to yours – your parent’s tent.

_Please be okay, please be okay, please be okay, please be okay_

Feeling the squelching of the sloppy mud under your bare feet, you cringe as you feel the mud lodging itself between your toes.

Peeling back the already open tent door,

_Please be okay, please be okay, please be okay, please be okay_

The tent was empty. Why is it empty?

Running to your sister’s tent – the one that’s on the other side of yours – you hope for the best. Pulling back the navy blue nylon, your heart sinks.

It’s empty.

What? Did they just leave without you? Was your sleeping self too much of a hassle to wake up so they decided not to? Your heart sinks at the idea of being abandoned by your family, but you push it aside so you can rationally assess the situation. 

Looking back over at your parent’s tent, comparing it with that of your sister’s, quickly scanning the area; you see no signs of struggle. You know the truth – the gut wrenching, absolutely heartbreaking truth – they willingly left without you.

Doubling over onto the shaking ground, you were left to die, completely stranded. Your body violently shakes as a flood of tears erupt from your eyes. Sobs leave your mouth at an embarrassingly loud level, not that that it matters, you’ve been left for dead after all. To say you’re hurt would the understatement of the century. You feel betrayed.

Leaning forward, your face lands in the wet mud, you feel it smear all over your forehead.

_They left you to die, why would they do that?_

You feel something flowing through you. Your anger and sadness completely consumes you. Your blood is boiling, and it’s not from the fire that’s getting closer to you by the second.

You dig your hands into the ground - not giving a flying hoo-ha about the dirt collecting under your nails – you scream, trying your hardest to get the frustration out. You scream until your throat hurts, the anger you felt inside is unmoved.

Red blaster bolts land on near your hands and body. Not caring about whether they hit you or not you remain in place. Whether it’s by fire or blaster, you’re going to die either way.

You felt two sets of hands pulling you to your feet. Eyes on the floor, you take in the sight of your very dirty feet. But who could care about that when the cold – and slightly trembling – hands of death were gripping your arms so tight? The only thing that you cared about right now was finding out what happened to your family, and how they have the audacity to leave you for dead in the middle of a forest.

On the flip side, your family could be dead... just because they left their tents willingly does not mean they weren’t taken to a different location to be shot like animals. But that begs the question, what about you? Why were you specifically left? The thought of never seeing your family again makes your heart hurt and your body shake.

“I can feel the anger radiating off you.” Looking up, you see... a lot of black cloth and a helmet. His voice was robotic, metallic, deep, your genius self put the pieces of the puzzle together – it was the helmet. Briefly, you amused yourself with the notion that his real voice – the one without the silly helmet – was high pitched, like he’d just inhaled a hefty amount of helium.

You feel something inside you head. It almost felt like an itch, an annoying little bug inside your brain, making itself at home in you limbic system. “You’re right, they did leave willingly.”

Your eyes were wide open, your mouth slightly agape. He did this. “You did this! What did you do?” Every accusing word is filled with venom. 

He tilts his head slightly to the right, considering you.

Starting to struggle against your human restraints, you wave your arms around like a crazy person; kick your legs, anything to get these barbarians off you. It comes as no surprise to you – and probably no surprise to Dr Doom Bucket over there– but your attempt at escaping did not work.

Closing your eyes, you focus on your anger; you focus on every negative emotion running through your body. A strange experience, something you briefly felt earlier, you felt as though you could feel everything. Not on a physical level either. It was more like sensing, you could sense the things around you and the energy that they have within them.

Call it a hidden talent, luck, adrenaline, but when you opened your eyes, you also opened a can of whoopass.

Successfully separating yourself from your pesky restraints – something you hated calling them, by the way, but considering they were covered in armour you were starved for choice on acknowledging their exact species – you angrily stomped your way over to Dr Doom Bucket. 

“What have you done to my family?!” You shout, pushing him backwards. Just by the quick push on his chest, you knew he took a step back on purpose; he was too strong for you to do any damage. “Tell m-”

You were cut off by both literally and figuratively falling into blackness.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.  
 _You woke up in a strange room. It was dark, too dark to see any of the tiny details in the room. However, something you did know for certain, something dangerous is/was in this room._  
 _Slowly sitting up, you look around. Just behind you was something close to a platform – a special ‘viewing circle’ if you may._

_The main door slides open with a hiss, in comes two people, one of whom was Dr Doom. The other man, the ginger one, he’s just about as tall, however he dresses significantly less dramatic than helmet head._

_“You’re awake,” his metallic voice sends shivers down your spine._

_“What did you do to my family?” your voice is surprisingly calm considering the ever-growing anger inside of you._

_When he didn’t answer you, you took matters into your own hands. Standing in front of him, you’d attempt to get in his face but you can’t, what, with the helmet and the shocking size difference. Instead, you try to push him back, it wasn’t as easy as the previous time – he must be acting tough in front of whoever the ginger guy is. “What did you do to them?” you repeat, your voice getting louder._

_“I have no time for this,” he says, pushing past you, he begins walking to the ‘special circle.’_

_With a running start, you jump on his back. “I know exactly how to kill you,” you threaten, your hands grabbing hold of his head on either side. “If you don’t tell me where they are, I’ll kill you.”_

_You’re not sure whether it’s you imagining things, or whether the lack of objects within the room caused it, but those words echoed. I’ll kill you. The echoes were morphed to the point that you can’t even recognise your own voice. You sounded monstrous._

_Taking your mind away from the echoes, you realised he didn’t answer you. The anger taking control, you quickly snap his neck._

_The sound, the snap, the way his lifeless body falls to the floor, it replays over and over and over in your mind, each time the anger your feel dissipate; instead, it’s replaced with guilt. You’ve just take a life. How could you do that?_

_Stumbling backwards, you fall no-so-gracefully to the floor, landing harshly on your behind. Hyperventilating, you cover your open mouth, you’re completely shocked. What have you done?_   
_You’re a murderer, that makes you no better than him._

 

You jump as you wake. Rubbing your eyes, your hands are clammy, your dream playing over in your head.

The voice.

The _snap._

It’s all too much. Your anger got the best of you; it made you kill in cold blood. You’ll do anything to make sure things don’t reach that point. But will that be possible? One thing’s for sure, you need your family back. You’re afraid that if anything has, or will happen, to them will tip you over the edge. You’d be so full of anger and hatred that there’d be no going back. You have never in your life thought about killing anyone until now.

Looking down at your body, you cringe, the pink bunny pyjamas – you’d lost a bet with your sister; it resulted in several pictures being taken of you wearing said ugly pyjamas. Tears started to well just thinking about your sister. The possibility of never seeing her again breaks your heart.

Looking at the dried mud on your hands and feet, you’re in desperate need for a shower. Your face is probably in a similar state, you remember pushing your forehead into the ground, you must look disgusting.

The doors slide open, two men walk in; Mr Helmet Head and the ginger. You’re beginning to feel a strong sense of déjà vu. Everything is the same as your dream. Even down to the clothing, but how could you possibly dream the future?

“You’re awake.” Not wishing a replay of your dream, you stay quiet. “That was an interesting dream.” He stands right in front of you; he clearly doesn’t care about entering people’s personal bubbles.  
How does he know? Your eyes widen with shock. Is it possible that he put that dream there? Can he do that? Or was that all you? Are you so angry with him that you somehow managed to dream the future? The whole ordeal is confusing to you.

“You should know, I’m a lot harder to kill than that.” Oh, you don’t doubt that, you think, but instead of replying you stay quiet.

Walking away from you, he heads over to the circle; however, his ginger friend stays behind, watching you. You really wish they’d at least allowed you the common courtesy of introducing themselves. It’s like they don’t know how to be good hosts. Well, captors.

Standing on the ground with shaky feet, you watch Captain Edgelord’s actions very carefully as you slowly stand and back-pedal towards the wall.

A very large – overcompensating – hologram appears. They person it shows isn’t exactly an appealing fella, but he looks relatively scary. He could definitely do you some damage.

Due to your not-so-subtle staring, Hux managed to sneakily make his way towards you without you noticing. Probably making sure you don’t run away.

“Bring her to me,” the hologram orders. His voice is very gravelly. You’re not sure whether he’s doing it to be scary or whether he needs to clear his throat.

The attention of both the helmet man and the hologram is on you. Quickly side-stepping, you stand behind the ginger. You attempt to make yourself as small as possible. Not that it was hard, what, standing behind this giant. A giant that smells lovely, you noted.

The ginger steps out of the way, pushing you forward until you’re just about under the hologram. You have to crane your neck to look the scary dude in the eyes, you feel sorry for those that do this on a regular basis.

He looks at you, he almost looks disgusted, but you’re not sure whether that’s just his natural face. He looks like a miserable bugger. “I can sense the darkness within you. You will be a great asset to the First Order,” he grimly notes. You’re almost tempted to tell him to just clear his damn throat already. “You are to stay here and be trained by Kylo Ren,” he adds, slightly nodding towards the helmeted man to your right. 

Kylo Ren, his name is Kylo Ren. Sounds fake.

What does he mean trained? Trained in what? It almost seems as if he’s filling in the blanks by telling you that he can sense the darkness within you, but it’s just filling you with more questions.

You’re not sure how to ask a question, are you supposed to wait until he finished talking and speak freely, or can you raise your hand?

Going with your gut instinct you slowly raise your arm. “Why am I here?”

“Your fate will be revealed in due time. I expect to see progress the next we meet. You are dismissed.” With that, the hologram disappears.

To think, just yesterday you were camping with your family, having the time of your life with your loved ones. Now, you’re stuck somewhere with people who refuse to answer your questions. One way or another, you will get the answers you desire. You _will_ escape. You _will_ get your family back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, lemme know what ya think <3


	2. Caged Animal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The way he was looking at you, you felt like a caged animal in a zoo, almost like he was waiting for you to do something entertaining.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made some minor changes to the first chapter, feel free to re-read if you wanna. 
> 
> Anyways, enjoy <3

Walking through the maze they call hallways, you reluctantly follow Kylo Ren and the ginger that has yet to introduce himself. Maybe you’re supposed to already know who they are since they’re the big, bad and scary. Heck, even you, someone who has actively stayed as far away from politics as possible has heard whispers about the infamous Kylo Ren; and more specifically, the shit he’s pulled. 

Each hallway lacks something that makes it unique; it lacks an identification sign. Well, it has the room numbers, but that’s hardly a map to the nearest exit. Nevertheless, you mentally take note of every turn you make.

The passing soldiers in white armour – you’re still unsure of their species – have the common courtesy to salute. That’s how you know you’re in the presence of the top dogs. That, and they obviously know their place, and their respect towards their superiors never wavers. They’re clearly well trained, unlike your very gothic hosts.

At that, your helmeted host’s head turns so fast you wonder if he has whiplash. Standing in front of you, he stares you down. The uncomfortable silence feels; well, uncomfortable; that, along with his large form towering over you makes him very intimidating.

“Ren.” The ginger barked.

Kylo’s stare lingers a few seconds longer. You can feel his eyes burning holes in your skin. Without a word, Kylo turns and walk away, his black drapes whooshing around him.

The ginger points in Kylo’s direction, a silent order for you to walk ahead of him. You hesitantly follow orders, giving him a wicked side eye as you pass him. Is he above ren? Or maybe, you think, are they lovers? 

Noting Kylo Ren’s fists balling into a fist as your mind travels down that road, you stop. You don’t want to get yourself killed before finding your family. 

Stopping in front of a room – room number 2501 – you watch as Kylo Ren opens the door and walks into the room. Clearly the ‘ladies first’ rule, or any gentlemanly behaviour isn’t enforced here.

Walking inside after Kylo, you take in the room. You were right, they are living quarters; and very minimal ones at that. There’s a bed, a bathroom, a wardrobe, and a set of drawers. The room itself isn’t very spacious. It does, however, match the colour scheme of the hallways; black and silver. You taking in the black tiled floor, they’re cold to walk on in bare feet. In fact, that’s the general vibe that the entire place gives you; cold. It’s not a happy environment, very military. Coming from a very happy and loving home, you’re not sure you could really thrive here.

“Stay here until I collect you for training.” Kylo says, his mechanically altered voice sending a chill down your spine. Well, it was either that, or the glacial temperature of this room.

Your eyes follow Kylo as he promptly leaves the room leaving behind an awkward silence between you and a stranger. Well, he’s a man of few words, isn’t he? In fact, they both are.

There’s a knock on the door causing you to jump. The ginger answers, grabbing the pile of clothes off the officer and closing the door. “A meal will be brought to you shortly,” he says, handing you the pile of clothes, “in the meantime, I suggest you shower and change.” You nod, unsure of how to respond. He turns towards the door, you watch as the door slides open. “It would be wise to follow orders, Ren has quite the temper.” He says before fully leaving.

As the door closes behind him, you feel the walls closing in. You’ve never been claustrophobic, but then again, you’ve never been held against your will. Feeling yourself starting to hyperventilate, you take a series of deep breaths; in through your nose, out through your mouth. In. Out. In. Out. Trying to make yourself relax, you lie on the bed, closing your eyes. It’s times like these that you think taking up meditation would be useful. If only you had time for that.

Lying back, you think of your family. Thinking about never seeing them again sends a sharp pain through your chest, and fills you with the determination to seek revenge. You’ve got yourself in quite the mess. Thinking about it, the entire situation seems very... planned. That wrinkly looking guy has a plan for you, Kylo knew exactly where to find you, and that ginger guy knows about you too. It seems a little too specific to be a spontaneous kidnapping. Did he come for you on purpose or are you just overthinking things? You can’t shake this bad feeling. It’s not the kind of bad feeling that leaves you feeling anxious or uneasy. The negative energy in this place surrounds you, it almost consumes you. 

You need to leave.

Assuming the door has a motion sensor, you walk towards it, exaggerating your movements a little – by a little, you mean flapping your arms around and doing straight up jumping jacks whilst moving towards the door.

Nada. Nothing happens.

Giving up on that idea, you rub the balls of your hands into your eyes; there has to be another way out. Looking around the tiny room, you don’t see anything useful. You do, however, spot a window. You could always climb out of it. Looking out of the small, circular window, your jaw drops, scrapping that escape plan.

You’re in space.

Your heart drops. Every escape route that almost formed in your mind disintegrates. To escape you’d have to fly; to do that you need a pilot. You’re willing to bet that no pilot on this ship would help you out purely from the goodness in their hearts.

As much as you’re aware you can’t really go anywhere, you have to at least try.

You figure that, because you’re floating around in space, there must be an oxygen tank or something on the base somewhere – you know, because it’s essential to keeping everyone on-board alive. On your mini tour, you didn’t notice any random oxygen tanks lying around anywhere; therefore, it must be travelling around the base somehow. Then it hit you.

The vents.

Looking around the bedroom walls – even under the bed – you don’t notice any vents. You quickly check the bathroom. You don’t notice any in there either.

Your mind goes blank. Surely they wouldn’t leave you in a room without proper ventilation?

Sighing, you drop on the bed like a sad sack of potatoes. Staring at the ceiling, you mentally curse those dick bags for locking you in the room. Seriously, you’re floating around in space, how are you supposed to escape? The door won’t open, you can’t find any vents, there is actually nothing you can do.

_There’s nothing you can do._

Letting that sink in, you think about your parents, they certainly wouldn’t be happy with you giving in so easily. If they were watching you right now they’d probably be shouting at you, telling you that the solution is right in front of your face and –

Holy shit.

The answer is right in front of you.

Your eyes widen at your discovery. The vents are in the ceiling. You’re not sure how you didn’t notice before, what, with it being the only textured surface in the room.

You stand on the bed, stretching your arms up in a futile attempt to reach the ceiling. In hindsight, you should have known you wouldn’t be able to reach given your height. You needed something bigger to stand on. Looking around the room, your eyes lock onto a chest of drawers.

Wobbling as you stand on the drawers, you jump and grab onto the steel crate grille. Taking a deep breath, you muster all of your energy and lift your legs up, attempting to kick one of the grilles out of place. It takes a couple of tries, but you get there eventually. What can you say? You haven’t worked out in a hot minute.

You slowly climb across the ceiling as if it were a set of monkey bars. Eventually reaching the hole, you climb up into the vent. Oh, sweet victory. Lying flat on your back – as uncomfortable as it is – you relax. Take a beat. Catch your breath. Who are you kidding, you’re exhausted. You’re trying not to judge yourself, after all, that is the most exercise you’ve done in a while.

Once you’re out of danger of going into cardiac arrest, you turn over onto your stomach. Crawling through the vent, you almost wish you put on some extra layers, it’s freezing. Not only that, but it’s a tight squeeze, but you commando crawl your way through nonetheless.

On your venture, you waste time by spying on people through the little holes. Luckily for you, you were able to avoid the crate grilles by taking a different route. You have no idea where you are, but based on the Stormtroopers you can see marching past, you’re crawling around above a hallway. Since the hallway is now empty, it begs the question: should you stay in the vent, or risk it in the hallway?

You’re easily concealed in the vent, but it’s a lot harder to navigate where you’re going.

You’re out in the open in the hallways, but it’ll be easier to navigate where you’re going.

You’re caught at a crossroad.

Removing the grille, you jump down into the hallway. You may as well live life a little dangerously. Besides, wouldn’t it be easier to get down whilst no one else is around, as opposed to in a room full of people? You’d easily get caught.

You land with a louder thump than you thought you would, hopefully no one was around to hear it. Looking in both directions, you decide it would be best to go right since the ‘troopers came from that direction. Judging by the distant sound of engines, you’re heading in the right direction.

You try to walk as casually as you can whilst also making your footsteps as quiet as possible. As it turns out, being quiet whilst walking on a metal floor is a lot harder than it looks. Just as you were beginning to look like a goofy cartoon character with an exaggerated tip-toed walk, you decided to throw caution to the wind and leg it down the hallway. This is fun. There’s a nice adrenaline rush that comes with trying to escape, and honestly, you love it. That was until you fell on your arse for running into a human sized wall.

Looking up from your cold spot on the floor, you make awkward eye contact with the ginger, human shaped wall that knocked you down. Standing up, you smile, ignoring the literal pain in your arse. It’s a wonder how you didn’t knock him over too, he’s not that big. Yes, he’s taller than you, but he looks to be on the slimmer side. Panicking, you give the grumpy ginger a harsh push backwards before absolutely belting it down the hallway.

Rounding a corner, you hear the ginger ordering the Stormtroopers to retrieve you. The sound of multiple fast paced footsteps banging on the metal panels does nothing for your sense of hope. If they catch you – and they will – you’re outnumbered; you don’t stand a chance in a fight against them. You have to be smart, don’t do that dumb shit people always do and look behind you.

Risking a glance behind you, they’re not that far away; you can easily outrun them.

Making it into the hangar, you feel the stars align. Sweet mother of all that is holy, something is on your side for once. Running inside, you try and dodge the Stormtroopers behind various metal boxes. Seeing as though the hangar is full of people, you think it would be pretty hard to see you. Still, you keep behind the larger objects, trying not to draw too much attention to yourself.

Making it to the opposite end of the hangar, you stare at the TIE fighters; you’re not sure how you’re supposed to fly one of those. Heck, you’re not even sure how to get into one of those. Maybe there’s a button you’re supposed to press somewhere? Walking underneath the fighter, you inspect the underside; surely there are some instructions or something somewhere.

Two set of hands grab you on either side, pushing you back against the cold, metal wall. Struggling against the ‘troopers, you thrash your arms, kicking them; you can’t seem to get away. That is until a certain ginger stands in front of you. He looks disappointed. You can’t say you blame him; you managed to beat the locked room, and you couldn’t help but smirk.

“Inability to follow orders, Ren won’t like that.” He deadpans, staring you down.

“Kidnaps me and holds me captive in the middle of space, I don’t like that.” You mock. Pushing your torso out, challenging him.

He steps closer to you; he’s so close you could kick him. In fact... you extend your leg, attempting to kick him between his legs. You realise it’s a dick move, but he deserves it.

Unfortunately, before your knee made contact with his junk, he caught your leg, pushing it back down. Pushing you back against the wall, his hand rests around your neck. “Lacks respect,” he notes.

“Lacks common decency.” You spit. “Besides, why would I respect you?”

“Whether you like it or not, you are to remain here indefinitely. I am your superior, you will show me some respect.” He enunciates every word, almost spitting on you during the last one. 

You don’t know this ginger fellow, but you get the feeling that he wants power.

“Respect is earned.” You say; your words filled with venom, “all you and your little helmeted buddy have done is hurt me and keep me captive. That is not the right way to get my respect.”

“You’re on _my_ ship, you’re under _my_ command, you’re-”

“Aren’t I technically under Kylo Ren’s command? I mean, he is the more powerful of the two of you, it would make sense.” You’re very aware that playing this game could get you in trouble, but that won’t stop you from pouring salt in the wound.

He stands back, assessing you. You have to admit, that’s not the response you were expecting, you wanted him to lose his cool. He sighs before telling the Stormtroopers to take you to the cell. You gulp, not liking this ominous sounding cell.

Kicking your legs and violently moving your legs, you do everything you possibly can to try and get out of their hold. Maybe you could kick them too? Going along with your thoughts, you try and angle your legs in a way where you could effectively kick the soldiers in their private parts.

Raising your legs with gusto, your knee makes contact with the plate covering this guy’s delicate area. You grunt, the sharp pain spreading through your knee. The armour mustn’t be that good because the poor guy lets go of you, cupping his manhood. You repeat this on the other soldier before running away.

Your second attempt at running away was short-lived. You were just about to run into the corridor when a set of arms grabbed you from behind, holding you still as they shoved something sharp into your neck, rendering you unconscious.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Jolting awake, you take in your surroundings. Sitting up, you look around the room, taking in the two Stormtroopers standing inside the room. Rubbing your sore neck – something you’ve never experienced with other injections before, you take in the room. You’re not sure what this room would be used for. It’s literally a giant cage inside a room. You assumed that when you were ordered into the cell, you’d be in a jail cell with multiple other people that have annoyed the moody ginger in some way, but that’s not the case.

“Inform the General, she’s awake.” one of the Stormtroopers said.

Is it possible that the moody ginger is the General? Makes sense, all that nonsense about being in command and having some authority over you. Oh jeez, that stuff about Kylo Ren having more power than him must have really pissed him off.

Lying back down on your hard, cold, metal bed, you stare at the ceiling through the metal bars. You’re not sure how long you were staring in silence, but at some point the ging- the General made his way into the room. He stands his sourpuss expression almost against a wall outside the cage. The way he was looking at you, you felt like a caged animal in a zoo, almost like he was waiting for you to do something entertaining.

“You’ve yet to formally introduce yourself, you know.” You say, facing him on your side.

“I’m General Hux, you are aboard the Finalizer, a Resurgent-class Battlecruiser.” He looked as if he was about to say something else but then decided against it.

You nod, sitting up, placing your elbows on your knees. “Why am I here?” you ask after a minute of silence.

“I believe it would be more appropriate to ask Commander Ren, he’s the one you are to train under.” His tone suggests authority.

You audibly gasp, “so you’re not the boss of me?” you say cheekily, cocking your head to the side, “guess I don’t have to listen to you.”

“For someone who claims to be upset about the disappearance of their family, you’re surprisingly calm. Not even 2 hours ago you were dreaming of killing Ren because he took them away from you, yet here you are acting as if nothing happened, almost as if you don’t care.” He says, slowly walking closer to you.

As soon as the words left his mouth you were ready to punch him. He cannot dictate what you do and don’t feel. Sure, you should be a lot angrier about your family’s situation, but you know they’re probably not dead. “They’re alive. They’re being used as bargaining chips so I’ll do what you want. That’s it, isn’t it? You’re going to use them against me.” It feels awful to say out loud. You suppose it would be different if they were being held in front of you, but they’re not.

“In any case, this is your last chance, there will be no more escape attempts after this.” He warns, standing right in front of the cage now.

Wanting to show defiance in some way, you walk up to Hux, grabbing his hand, you pull his glove of before retreating deeper into the cage. “Nice glove,” you comment, holding it up in front of you.

“Hand it to me, (L/N), I won’t ask twice.” His voice is deeper this time, almost dangerous. You’re not scared though, you know he can’t really do anything to you.

Holding the item in both hands, you play with the fingers. “If I do, will you let me see my family?”

He looks at you, considering. “You’ll have to do a lot more than return my glove.”

You frown; of course you’ll have to do more. It wouldn’t surprise you if it wasn’t cheap. “Dude,” you say, holding your hand up, “if you want that kind of payment you’ll have to go to a brothel or something, I’m not your girl when it comes to that kind of thing, man.” You joke. It’s not the time to joke, but you wanted to lighten the mood a little. You also wanted to see his reaction.

Hux looks off to the side, most likely thinking of how to respond. You eyes latch onto his cheeks, you’re not sure whether you’re imagining the slight pink hue that has risen there. Sucking his bottom lip into his mouth, he turns to you, “That... that is not the payment I was referring to. You are to work hard, that is how you’ll see your family.” He tone shifted into a very... ‘General tone’ almost as if he was talking to one of the ‘troopers. You take this as a victory, you’ve possibly made the man slightly blush; at least you know what to do now.

Taking his words to heart, you give him back his glove. When his naked hand skimmed yours, a whirlwind unwanted images attack your mind.

_The overhead lights came on, you’re in someone’s quarters, judging by the size, it’s not yours. Turning around to inspect the room some more, you see yourself. It’s not like a reflection or anything; you’re literally seeing yourself in third person. You watch as Hux taps the other you on your shoulder. Without so much as a how-do-you-do, he kisses you._

Gasping, you stumble back. You observe Hux with wide eyes. What the Hell was that?! Why were you seeing yourself locking lips with him? How did that even happen?

“Force vision,” a mechanical voice interjects, effectively bringing you out of your inner confusion. Looking towards the sound, you see none other than Kylo Ren standing in the doorway. “A Force vision shows you what could potentially happen in the future.”

Your eyes dart between Kylo and the General. There’s a possibility that at some point in the future you’ll be making out with him?! You think not.

“Possibility... that means it might not happen, right?” you ask.

“Yes.” Kylo replies, his demeanor is a lot softer than earlier.

Thank fuck for that. You sigh in relief. 

“Come, we must train.” Kylo says, using the Force to open the cage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, lemme know what you think <3


	3. Only Time Will Tell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dread fills you as your realise the role you’re supposed to play here; he’s your master, you’re his apprentice. Are they trying to turn you into a mini version of him? _You’ll play along_ , you think, _but not for long._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeez, going through the deleted chapters I wrote for this fic about a year ago, I constantly cringe. I'm so sorry for those who had to read my terrible grammar and multiple typographical errors. I'm trying hard to rectify that mistake and make this as easy and as smooth to read as possible. 
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy <3

Walking into a large, almost empty room, you follow Kylo Ren into the middle. Taking in the room, you do a 360 degree turn. It reminds you of the sports hall you had back in school, except this feels like a much colder environment. You highly doubt friendly games of dodgeball are played in here. 

On the wall that’s adjacent to the door is one long mirror, opposite that at the other end of the room is a huge pile of mats next to what looks like a small storage room. Much like the ones at school, they aren’t thick enough to prevent any damage. On the same wall the door’s on, and the one opposite it, is lined with benches. You imagine hand-to-hand combat goes down in this room. Your stomach sinks at the idea of Kylo bringing you in here to fight, you don’t stand a chance. 

“For future reference,” Kylo begins, his modulated voice cuts through the silence, “I am your master, and you will refer to me as such.” 

Dread fills you as your realise the role you’re supposed to play here; he’s your master, you’re his apprentice. Are they trying to turn you into a mini version of him? _You’ll play along_ , you think, _but not for long._

“Okay,” you reply, staring at the floor. The shiny wood panelling gives you comfort, at least if he decks you - which he most likely will at some point - it won’t hurt as much as the metal. “What are we doing here?” 

“Force training. Sit.” he orders, sitting down cross-legged on the floor. 

Following suit, you plonk yourself down, mimicking his stance opposite him. Not knowing where to look, you opt for your lap. Looking at the dirty, pink pyjamas, you feel heat rise to your face. Not only did you not change clothes, but you didn’t shower either. 

“Close your eyes, clear your mind.” He instructs. Despite the modulation, he sounds calmer.

Taking a deep breath, you try and focus on your breathing. At first it’s difficult to clear your mind of the questions you have running around, but eventually they fade.

“Focus on the Force. Feel it flowing through and around you,” he guides. You really wish he’d take off that helmet, it’s difficult to lose yourself in the Force when his modulated-meditation-yoga-guide voice is distracting.

You furrow your brow as you begin to feel something; it’s almost like the wind. It’s blowing all around you. Surrounding you, flowing through you. It _is_ you. The last time you felt something similar to this it was the night he took you. However, this feels different. This is calming. 

This is peace.

“How did you feel when you thought your family had left without you?” Kylo interjects, cracking open the peaceful Force wall you have built around yourself.

“Angry.” you whisper, keeping your eyes closed. 

“Why is that?” He asks calmly.

“Well, I thought my family had left me for dead… that they didn’t care enough to come and get me before fleeing.” You answer quietly, a pink prick of anger seeping through the cracks in your peace wall. 

“That feeling, the anger that’s inside of you, focus on it. Let it surround you.” He instructs. It’s weird, you’re not sure whether it’s the Force or not, but his voice seems to float around inside your mind. Through the reruns of his statement that bounce around inside your mind, his voice turns from something dark and edgy to almost soothing. Inviting. Pulling you in.

Without hesitation, you follow his encouragement and focus on your anger. 

You imagine yourself back in that situation, everything from the hot flames that surrounded you to the flames that were burning from within you. Letting the scarce anger surround you, you begin to feel yourself getting worked up. The cracks in your peace wall are larger now, barely holding against the pounding anger that’s behind it. Your breathing elevates as you let the wall down, succumbing to your emotions.

“Stand.” Kylo orders. 

Cracking your eyes open, you see his legs obscuring your view like two large tree trunks towering above you. As he walks away to collect something out of the little storage room in the corner, you stand. He comes back with a small yellow ball. After placing it a couple of feet in front of you, he takes his place behind you, acting as the devil on your shoulder.

“Lift the ball.” He instructs, demonstrating. You stare at the ball, suspended in mid-air. “You try,” he encourages, letting the ball fall onto the floor.

Nodding, you close your eyes and take a deep breath to relax your nerves. Opening your eyes, you lift your dominant arm out in front of you, imagining the ball lifting as your raise your arm.

Nothing happens.

“Use your emotions,” he reminds you.

You didn’t realise it, but watching him lift the ball made you drop your anger. Closing your eyes, you attempt to get the anger back. It’s there, but barely. Hoping that’s enough, you focus on your target. 

Using your anger, you imagine a Force hand spreading its long, nimble fingers around the tiny ball, lifting it off the ground. It comes as no surprise that your dwindling anger is not enough to get the job done. You manage to make the ball move, roll away from its original position, but not lift it.

Feeling discouraged, embarrassment washes over you. You understand why Kylo has a short fuse.Trying again, you focus more on your embarrassment than your anger.

The ball lifts off the ground. Getting over-excited, you push yourself a little more. You focus all - and you mean _all_ \- of your energy on the ball, wanting to keep it suspended as long as possible.

The ball begins to waver slightly. Throwing more feeble negative Force energy at it, you hear a hyperbolic band as your vision goes black. 

.

.

.

.

 

You wake to find yourself standing in a pitch black room. You question your consciousness; surely you couldn’t be awake if all you were seeing is blackness. It was almost like you were stranded in a starless space.

A spotlight hits you, blinding you. Covering your eyes with your arm, the sleeve of your top calls up your arm, the material gathering at your neck. Turning from the light, you look down at your body. These aren’t your clothes. The white nightgown is unfamiliar to you.

Hearing a bang coming from behind you, you turn. Your spotlight had now been turned off; instead, the spotlight is on you - well, another version of you, at least. (Y/N) number two is wearing an all black workout outfit with a red cog inside of a hexagon stitched into the left breast. You’re standing on top of one of the benches in the training room, talking to someone. You can see your mouth moving but you can’t hear any words; can’t see another person in the darkness.

You move closer to this mystery model of yourself, watching closely as you interact with someone who has yet to be revealed. You’re at an arm’s length away when someone covered in black walks under the spotlight. Your body feels tense, you can’t move. Lucky for you, you have a profile shot of yourself and the mystery man.

The figure pulls down his hood. It’s Kylo Ren. 

Once again, you see your lips moving but there’s no sound. Suddenly, you hear the sound of compressed air being released. Your eyes widen in shock as you realise it’s the sound of Kylo’s helmet being taken off. 

You watch in awe as he removes it, his raven locks coming into view. He isn’t what you thought he’d look like. Of course, you can only see him from the side, but you can see enough to know he’s young and attractive. His prominent nose, plump lips.. 

You watch your-second-self smile at him, and him smile back. A sight you never thought you’d see. 

You furrow your brow and look at the dark floor. Despite seeing it in front of you, you can’t picture yourself realistically being in a situation where Kylo Ren would ever smile at you. Seems impossible.

Looking up again, you see your hand in Kylo’s hair, bringing him closer to you. You-number-two connects your lips to his, both smiling into the kiss.

 

You sit up, gasping for breath. Why the heck do you keep having dreams about hissing people?

_Not just any people,_ you add, _the bloody General of the First Order and the poster child for the Dark Side of the Force!_

You should want to be as far away from these people as possible, and yet, here you are sucking their tongues. You wonder who you’ll Force kiss next; briefly entertaining the idea that it’ll be Snoke. 

You jump when you hear someone exhale from beside you. For the first time since you woke, you take in your surroundings. 

You seem to be in the medical ward. Looking down at your attire, the white nightgown that covered your body now makes sense. You notice the nice cuffs connecting your hands and feet to the bed, a lovely reminder that you’re not yet trusted by these people. 

Looking beside you, you notice Kylo Ren sitting in the chair next to your bed, his elbows on his knees. You remain silent, wondering if he could see the dream that you’ve just had, you certainly hope not. 

“What happened?” you ask quietly, looking away from him. 

“You outdone yourself, apprentice.” He says, his voice as metallic as always. 

“That’s not really what happened though…” you trail off. You guess he’s difficult to hold a conversation with. “I also have a name, you know? You could just use that…”

“You passed out trying to keep the ball up. You pushed too hard.” He states nonchalantly. 

“Given the medics release you by then, you will begin physical training tomorrow.” He begins, changing the subject. I expect you to start training two hours a day for four days, two of which will by combat training. Two days will be spend Force training, the remaining day you can spend however you like.”

Although his highly edited voice isn’t something you’re fond of, his way of speaking isn’t too bad. Unlike with General Hux, you don’t feel like he’s talking down to you; you appreciate that. 

You fiddle with the thin hospital blanket with your fingers as you overthink how to phrase this next question. “So… Force dreams… or visions, whatever you called them. What’s the chances of them happening?” you stumble over your words.

“Force visions are _possibilities_ of what the future may look like,” he begins, standing up from his chair. “The possibilities are endless.” 

As he walks towards the door, your head fills with more questions than answers. 

“Wait.” You pause, waiting for him to stop before he reaches the door. “Does that mean that’s they’re pointless? If it’s something that may never happen, why even get them at all?” 

“The decisions you make alter the future.” He says, sounding bored. “Choose wisely.” 

You watch as he exits the room. 

So far, you have a possible future with Hux, and another future with Kylo. But where’s the future you want; the one with your family away from this mess? 

Only time will tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, lemme know what ya think <3


	4. Ungodly Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the door begins to open, you prepare yourself to meet a huge monster, something so unworldly that it’ll haunt your nightmares.

Being escorted back to your room by, not two, but four Stormtroopers certainly has an effect; everyone stares at you like you’ve just murdered their loved ones. It’s easy to ignore those that come from the helmeted folk, but the officers that pass you have nothing to cover their beady eyes from burning holes in your dirty face. 

The Stormtroopers send you into your room alone, no doubt standing guard outside. 

Staring at the cold, grey steel doors, you shiver. Although you’ve been invited into the First Order and Kylo Ren’s school of the Force, you feel more like a prisoner. 

You go when they say go, you stop when they say stop. You’re nothing more than a puppet to do their bidding. Usually you’d tell the fella to take a hike, you’re your own woman, you can do what you want, but maybe this is how you win. If you play the part, you’ll get your family back, and somehow, you’ll find a way to be with them too. 

Shaking the forming idea out of your head, you run your fingers through your knotted hair; it’s time to take a shower. 

Turning the shower head on, you listen to the pitter-patter of the water hitting the porcelain floor. Listening to it makes you reminiscent of the days spent travelling with your family, although the rain can be miserable and put a damper on your plans, it’s way better than the freezing climate of space. The same goes for the sun, even though you have never been a huge sunbathing fan, you miss the warmth of the sun on your skin. 

Standing under the spray, you close your eyes as the water trickles down your body, washing away a day’s worth a sweat and dirt. Reaching out with the Force, you let it surround you. As powerful as you may feel when your emotions take control, there’s nothing quite like the feeling of being at one with the Force; the immense feeling of peace that cascades like a tidal wave through your body. 

Experimenting, you expand your ‘Force net’, searching your surroundings, seeing how far you can feel from the confines of your shower. You don’t feel the Force as strongly as you did before, you do, however, feel something coming. A big, seemingly dangerous and hateful ball of energy coming up on your radar. It intrigues you. You wonder: _is it possible to calm the anger?_

Despite knowing that you’re not strong enough to pull off such a task, you try it anyway. 

Reaching out with the Force, you wrap your Force tendrils around the energy, like a rathtar latching onto its prey. Focusing on your calm state of mind, you try to push it out, sending it off in waves to surround the anger. 

You smile to yourself when you see the anger slowly starting to dissipate. The anger doesn’t completely disappear though, not that you expected it to anyway. Anger that large is rooted deep within the poor bastard’s soul. Feeling yourself become weak, you let go of your hold, slowly pulling away. 

Feeling accomplished, you hop out of the shower with a wide smile on your face. Changing into the looser fitting clothes that hang in your closet, you climb into your new, and surprisingly comfortable bed. 

You’re wakened by the sound of loud banging on your door. With your heart beating fast in your chest, you jump up and change into the more form-fitting clothing that’s in your closet. Wearing high waisted black pants and a black tank top, you rush to the door, only to stop at the last second to pick up a jacket. The only one that was left for you is a thin black coat with what you’re guessing is the First Order’s insignia on it. It probably won’t be enough to keep you warm, but it’s all you have. 

As you walk down the Finalizer’s freezing hallway, your gurgling intestines break the silence that has fallen between you and your Stormtrooper escorts. 

“Do you know what time is it?” You ask into the air, hoping one of the ‘troopers will answer you. 

When you’re hit with stone cold silence, you opt to keep your mouth shut for the rest of the walk. You don’t so much mind the silence, it gives you time to think; time you’d usually spend daydreaming. However, instead of your mind racing through heroic fantasies of you surviving the odds - much like the situation you’re in now - your mind fixates on Kylo Ren’s previous comment.

_The possibilities are endless._

The idea that, at this present moment, there are two paths ahead of you; one with Kylo and another with Hux. It doesn’t sit well with you. 

You come to a standstill outside the canteen. Looking around the large room, it’s clear that your next move should be to stand in line for food, Kylo’s ambiguity has you second guessing yourself. These decisions that you’re supposed to make, how will you know when you’re making them? How do you know you haven’t already? It seems silly to doubt yourself over standing in a line, but even the tiniest of moves can cause a ripple effect; that’s not something you’re willing to risk, especially when the First Order and the Dark Side are in the mix. 

The Stormtrooper’s behind you push you into the room. The gross smelling food fills your nostrils as you walk towards the line. Looking at the serving trays, the food looks almost as bad as it smells. The chattering going on in the place makes your heart swell, it feels like forever since you last had a decent conversation with someone.

As you’re sandwiched between your Stormtrooper guards, you take a quick scan of the room. They’re all ‘troopers… without their helmets on. It’s odd seeing them that way; as actual humans. Real people with real faces, just like you. 

Returning your attention to the food, you instantly regret coming out. The only food that’s left is some kind of gelatinous soup that looks well past it’s expiration date. Giving it the benefit of the doubt, you choose that option, hoping it’ll taste better than it looks. 

You hold back a gag as the lady behind the counter uses a metal spoon to peel back the skin that’s formed over the soup. You cover your mouth with your hand as a big spoonful plops into a plastic bowl, big balls of it splashing over the edge and onto the counter. She places the bowl haphazardly onto your tray, along with some bread. As she hands it to you, she smiles, knowing full well that you won’t be able to stomach this meal.

Following the Stormtrooper’s lead, you sit down in front of them on a table for four. You don’t mean to stare as they both take off their helmets, but your curiosity for their true identity is strong. You sigh when they both appear to be male. Not that you dislike the company of males, you were just hoping for a female companion. Taking a look around the canteen, there doesn’t seem to be too many females around. 

Watching as they dig into their foo - gloop, they shovel it into their mouths as if it’s the most delicious thing in the galaxy. It suddenly dawns on you that they’ve probably never tasted anything better. Being in a military environment, they don’t have the luxury of tasting the finest foods the galaxy has to offer. That being said, neither did you, but at least you appreciate spices and food that doesn’t look like greyscale vomit. 

Digging your spoon into the soup, it slowly moulds itself around the spoon. Lifting it up, the aroma hits your nostrils like a ton of bricks. Tears fill your eyes as you try not to puke. It’s putrid. 

Placing the spoonful of grey coloured snot back into the bowl, you pick up the bread and begin to nibble on it. It seems like your stay here is going to be full of carbs. 

“Is the food always like this?” you ask, wanting to start a conversation. 

The Stormtrooper to your left grunts. Is that a yes? A no? Not only is your future full of carbs, but it’s apparently silent too. 

“Hey, are there any toilets nearby?” you ask, pushing the bowl of disgust away from you. 

“Wait until we’ve finished and we’ll take you.” The ‘trooper to your right replies.

It may not be what you want to hear, but at least someone’s talking to you. Looking closer at the Stormtrooper, he’s cute. He has a gross taste in food, but he’s still cute. He reminds you of a crush you had in school. 

Ah, Jason; the popular guy. His brown eyes were heartwarmingly beautiful. When he looked at you, giving you is complete and undivided attention, it made you forget that every other girl in your class like him too. You wonder where he is now. He’s most likely having a better life than you right now. That being said, a sewer rat is probably having a better day than you. The sewer rat probably had a better breakfast too. 

Coming back to the present, you realise you’ve been staring at the ‘trooper for a long time. Heat rises to your face as you put your head down; hopefully he was too preoccupied with his food to notice you. 

“Actually, I think I can take myself,” you begin, still facing the metal table. “I can’t go anywhere, we are floating in space, after all. I’ll be back before you know it.” You speak forcefully. They’re going to have to learn to trust you at some point. 

When nobody responds, you lose your temper a little. It’s not enough that you’ve lost your family and are being forced to train with the bad guys, but now you can’t even empty your goddamn bladder without someone there to watch you. It’s ridiculous. 

Slamming your hand down on the table, you force him to look into your eyes. “Tell me where the toilets are. **Now.** You order, nose flaring with anger. 

“Down the corridor, to your left.” He deadpans, looking into your eyes, completely emotionless. 

Sending a sarcastic, shit-eating grin to the other occupants of the table, you stand. “Thank you,” you gloat before heading out of the room. 

Heading down the corridor, you find the bathroom. Walking in, you’re pleasantly surprised by the cleanliness; normally public toilets reek of faeces and are littered with rubbish. Although, should you really be surprised? Considering how pristine the rest of the base is, you highly doubt they’d let the one room go. 

After relieving your bladder, and washing your hands, you step back into the hallway. You were all set to head back to the canteen until you felt something. 

It reminds you of the night that Kylo Ren caught you; how the dark energy, the anger, completely surrounded you, ran through your blood. However, this time, the feeling wasn’t your own. It encloses around you, suffocating you; pulling you in. You feel inexplicably drawn to it, like a moth to a flame. Your feet begin to move in the opposite direction of the canteen. Every footstep you take, every inch you move closer, the anger seems to grow. 

You’re not sure where you’re going. The feeling has you walking down seemingly random turns; it almost feels as though you’re walking in circles - mostly because everything on this ship looks the same. 

Your feet come to a standstill outside a large metal door. Your heart races at the thought of it opening. You take a second to collect yourself, leaning the back of your head against the metal wall opposite the door. 

In an attempt to connect to the Force, you feel the dark energy swarming around you. Unlike before, you don’t feel it suffocate you, you feel a sense of familiarity, strength, **safety.** It’s odd, how you could find comfort in something that scared you a few minutes ago.

Opening your eyes, you collect all the courage you have and head towards the door. Time slows down. Your footsteps echo in your ears as you move. 

_This is it._

As the door begins to open, you prepare yourself to meet a huge monster, something so unworldly that it’ll haunt your nightmares. 

_This is it._

You step through the door, your heart racing, palms sweaty, arms shaking. 

_This… is it?_

Looking around the room, you see something akin to a computer room. 

_Talk about anticlimactic._

Well, not exactly a computer room, it’s more of an observatory room. It has computer terminals, as well as windows for one’s viewing pleasure - because everyone wants to stare out into the hangar all day. 

Forgetting the terrible feeling that brought you here, you look out into the hangar. It might be a good idea to familiarise yourself with the layout, you never know when you’re going to need an escape route. Although, looking at how busy it is, you doubt you’ll ever be able to make it past unnoticed. Unless, of course, there’s a way of using the Force to make yourself invisible, but you’re sure that not how the Force works.

Turning around, you see them; Kylo Ren and General Hux. That’s when it clicks in your mind; the darkness, it must have been Kylo Ren. It makes more sense than anything else; after all, you don’t see a huge ungodly monster running around here anywhere. And besides, it not like it could be General Hux, you’re fairly certain he’s not Force sensitive. 

You can’t help but feel a little deflated. You’re happy to know where the darkness comes from, but you were hoping it was a little better than your Force teacher.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, lemme know what ya think <3


	5. Fading Fast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Fear is a powerful weapon.”

It has been a few days since your little exploration of the ship in search for the giant ball of hatred happened. As soon as you saw Kylo and Hux approaching, you back tracked out of the room. Luckily, as soon as you left the room your panting Stormtrooper guards had found you and quickly escorted you to the training room before anyone noticed your absence. 

Upon first entering the training room on that first day, you were confused. It was filled with Stormtroopers, including an extra shiny one - someone you come to find is named Captain Phasma. You had entered expecting a few hours of sweating over some gym equipment, however, what you got was much worse; the ultimate gym class from Hell. You also learned that Captain Phasma and Kylo Ren are two entirely different teachers, the former being strict and unforgiving making you miss the latter. 

It should come as no surprise to you that the woman in charge of the Stormtrooper’s runs a tight ship; a no-bullshit kind of woman. You can respect that, even after everything, you still do. However, when verbal abuse is being thrown at you left, right, and centre, it makes it incredibly difficult to like her. She’s completely relentless. You wonder if you were caught on your little exploration and this was your punishment. It’s very fitting. 

To sum up your time spent with Captain Phasma and the Stormtroopers in one word, that word would be ‘brutal’. 

Laying on your bed, you thank your lucky stars it’s over, you’re finally free. After a long four-hour training period, there’s not a bone in your entire body that doesn’t hurt. You’d run a hot bath to soothe your aching extremities, but that would mean moving, and that would mean pain; and you’ve had enough of that to last you a lifetime.

You’ve never thought of the loud hum that vibrates throughout the ship as relaxing before, but as of now, it seems gentle; a soft background noise to whisk you off to sleep. Your vision becomes tunnelled as your eyes begin to roll. At least you know you’ll get a decent night’s sleep tonight. 

That was, however, until the hyperbolic sound of your door hissing open brings you hurdling back into the land of the conscious. Your body jerks awake, sending ripples of pain throughout your body. Weakly sitting up, you pull yourself back to rest against the wooden headboard. Looking at the intruder, you resist the urge to roll your eyes. 

Of course. 

_Kylo Ren._

Staying silent, you watch as his heavy footsteps stomp against the metal flooring, the way his balled fists slightly sway at his side as he walks across the room, stopping at the foot of your bed. Normally, you wouldn’t mind the company, however, the giant, wordless, Kylo Ren doesn’t seem to be in the best of moods. 

“You’re late.” He states, his metallic voice cutting through the silence.

Your eyebrow dips in confusion. “Late for what?” you ask quietly, stiffy rubbing your eyes in an attempt to keep yourself awake and focused. 

“Training.” 

“What? Dude, seriously? I’ve just finished training with Captain Phasma! What does a girl have to do to get a decent re-” 

Your mouth slams shut, no doubt chipping a few teeth. 

Kylo Ren, now facing you with his arm outstretched, takes a threatening step forward. You can feel the negativity moving in the space around you, suffocating you. Something doesn’t feel right. You remember how it felt when you were surrounded by the ball of anger, this feels different. 

“Unless you wish your family to pay the price, I suggest you get ready.” He threatens, enunciating every word perfectly, filling them with a ‘don’t-fuck-with-me’ vibe. 

Your eyes widen. _What will he do to them?_

Feeling the death grip around your jaw slacken, you remain still, afraid to put a toe out of line. 

“Training room. Five minutes.” He reminds you, his words echoing through the room as he makes a move to leave. 

“Yes, Master Ren.” you murmur as his threat plays over and over in a continuous loop inside your head. It’s foolish to believe they’d be safe and not used as a weapon against you. 

They’re holding your weakness in their hands and they’re not afraid to use it. 

Slowly raising your fingers to your mouth, you feel your teeth as best you can. You sigh in relief; Kylo’s vicious Force-grip didn’t permanently damage any of your teeth. 

 

You thought freshening up was a task, but as it turns out, hauling your aching body out of your room and down the chilly corridors of the Finalizer is much harder; not just because of your pain, but because of the embarrassment you want to avoid. Keeping your head low, you walk as fast as your fatigued legs can carry you, which, by the way, isn’t very fast at all.

Managing to make it to the training room without running into anyone, and with a whole minute to spare, you mentally give yourself a pat-on-the-back. It bodes well for you that the Stormtrooper security personnel that should be making rounds aren’t very good at their jobs. 

Standing outside the training room door, you take a second to collect what strength you have left before entering the room with His Royal Moodiness. Closing your eyes, you take a deep breath as you let your head roll back onto the cold metal wall. Feeling the cooling sensation running down your spine, you’re thankful of the cooldown before the storm. 

“Ow, my knee!” someone shrieks in a mimicking, high pitched tone, breaking the calming silence. 

Opening your eyes, you’re greeted by the ever-so-lovely sight of four Stormtroopers standing opposite you. They’re standing shoulder-to-shoulder, loud and proud as they tower above you. 

The ‘trooper on the far left balls his fists, bringing them up to where his covered eyes are. Rotating them back and forth, he moans, faking a cry, “boo-hoo”

Covering your eyes with your hands, you shake your head with embarrassment. This is exactly what you wanted to avoid. You hate the fact that they saw you like that. Weak. 

“Is little crybaby going to cry?” a voice sounds, followed by a crowd of laughter. 

A mixture of sadness and embarrassment stabs at your heart, causing tears to rise. Never in your entire life have you felt this way; not only the loneliness that comes with practically being held hostage, but the one that comes with bullying. If it weren’t for the fear of facing Kylo Ren’s threat, and the pain shooting throughout your tired body, you’d run back to your quarters and hide out there. You, however, stay put with your feet planted firmly on the metal panels. 

Jumping a mile when the hyperbolic sound of a crash fills your ears, you remove your hands from your eyes to investigate. No longer were the pack of Stormtroopers towering above you. No, they were lying tangled on the ground, almost whimpering in pain. 

Looking to your right, you see him. 

Kylo ren, standing with his right arm outstretched, pointing towards the Stormtroopers. 

Ah, the Knight in… dark armour appears to save the day. 

With his arm still suspended in mid-air, his helmet clad head turns to look at you. The cold, disappointed stare you’re imagining lies behind the mask sends shivers down your spine. He may have just saved you, but you’re not out of the danger zone yet, you remind yourself. 

Without hesitation, you promptly enter the training room. 

Walking ten steps in, you stop in place, turning just in time to see Kylo Ren enter the room behind you. Noticing him looking your way, your eyes drop to his feet. Nervously, you fidget with your fingers, “thank you,” you say, your voice small, full of embarrassment and gratitude.

You anxiously wait as his feet move closer to yours, stopping at an arm’s length away from you. 

“You cannot let the see you weak,” he begins, “if they believe you to be weak, they won’t follow you.”

Nodding along, you keep your eyes on the floor between his feet. There’s no doubt in your mind that they fear Kylo Ren, but you’re certain that, even if they did learn to fear you, they wouldn’t obey the way they do with Kylo Ren and General Hux, you’re no First Order leader. 

“Look at me.” He orders, his voice echoing in the almost empty room. 

Coyly lifting your head, you look to where his eyes should be, occasionally breaking eye contact. Maybe your thoughts were too loud. 

“Fear is a powerful weapon.” 

“Isn’t it better to rule with their respect rather than their fear?” you think aloud. 

“They’re conditioned to serve regardless. Power brings results, (Y/N).” He states. 

“Is that what you’re trying to do to me? Train me up so I’ll go along with whatever you say?” You ponder, your voice is still small, intimidated by Kylo’s presence. 

“From the moment Supreme Leader Snoke appointed you as my apprentice, your future became the Order; the darkside. Should you stray..” he trails off, implying a gruesome end for you should you abandon ship. 

“What if I don’t want to? What if I leave?” 

“You have no choice. You cannot leave.” He replies darkly. The realisation of your doomed fate sends shivers down your spine. 

Every escape plan that has ever formed in your mind suddenly disappears. There’s still a spark of hope within you, but it’s fading fast. Is there truly no end to this? 

“Great,” you start, lifting your arms up in the air and dropping them back down to your sides in exasperation. “So, I’m going to be held captive for the rest of my life, is that it? What about my family?” you question, raising your voice. 

Thinking over his response before he speaks, he tilts his head to the side slightly. “For the time being, they will be held until you prove yourself.” 

“Prove… prove myself? How?” You ask, shaking your head. You’re angry that they’re going to keep using your family as a bargaining chip, but it leaves the flame of hope within you untouched. There’s a way back to them and you’re going to find it, no matter what it takes. 

Your anger coils inside you, waiting to be released, whether that’s punching something or squeezing the heck out of it using the Force. 

“Finish your training, prove yourself trustworthy and we’ll let your family go.” 

Biting your lower lip, half in anger and curiosity, you shake your head, looking away whilst putting your hands on your hips. “Let me guess, there’s a catch? By proving myself I’m going to have to do something huge like… I don’t know… killing someone?” 

You feel the Force as it grabs your jaw, forcing you to move your head to face the direction of Kylo Ren so fast you get whiplash. 

“Commit yourself properly to the Order, to the Knights of Ren, and they will be free.” As his words reach your ears, it dawns on you; maybe this is one of the choices he was talking about. 

Without hesitation, Kylo Ren reaches out with the Force, opening the supply closet to your left. The door opens to reveal a robot, one that looks similar to the type you used in Captain Phasma’s gym class from Hell. This one, however, looks slightly more human. 

The lower half is all mechanics, you can see the wheels turning as it glides across the floor, stopping beside Kylo Ren and in front of you. 

Your eyes work their way up the robot’s body, becoming more confused as to why someone would put so much effort into making a robot look human if it was going to get destroyed. Your eyes focus on the robot’s physique, it has a womanly shape to it. However, looking past the autonomy, you realise there’s something oddly familiar about the robot. 

The only piece of clothing it’s wearing is a very worn-out burgundy T-shirt. The cut on the right-hand sleeve takes your interest the most, though. Staring at it for a few moments, you reach your hand out, delicately running your hand over the sliced piece of material as if it were made of glass. 

_But surely it can’t be…_

“Eleanora…” you whisper to yourself. 

Holding onto the sleeve, your eyes jump to the face. Looking into its eyes, tears fill your own.

What you were expecting was something robotic, something that almost looks human but clearly isn’t. What you got, however, was the face of your older sister. It was so realistic you could have sworn it was her standing in front of you, and not some twisted robot used to ruffle your feathers. 

Your hand jumps from the tattered T-shirt to the robot’s face. Silicone. 

“What? Why would you do this?” You almost cry, fighting with everything you have to keep the tears down. 

Staring furiously at Kylo Ren as you try to repress your wild imagination. Images of your poor sister, sitting in a dark, damp cave somewhere secluded, away from your parents. Now, not only is she lonely, but apparently she is without clothes. 

“What is the point in all of this?!” you exclaim, holding yourself back from attempting to pummel the answers out of them. 

“Training.” He simply states, waving his hand towards the supply closet door. Right on cue, another two robots leave the room, this time though, they’re your parents. 

As your breathing deepens, you take a few steps back, hastily running your fingers through your hair. 

“Which should die first?” Kylo Ren quizzes, interrupting your panic. 

“Excuse me?” you reply breathlessly, your anger growing. You can feel yourself growing more powerful as you overflow with anger; it’s almost as if you’re borrowing someone else’s. “Is this it? You’re keeping my family imprisoned until the day you make me kill them myself?” You shout. “Well, I can tell you right now, buddy, that’s not happening!”

Using your newfound confidence and anger, you use the Force to push Kylo Ren back. The first attempt was futile; you only managed to blow his arm back slightly.

Closing your eyes, you focus on the Force. Focus on your anger. Tears stream down your face as you open your eyes. Once again, you use the Force to push Kylo Ren back against the wall with all the power you can muster. 

You taste metal as you feel something drip onto your upper lip. Swiping your finger across your cupid’s bow, you see blood glistening on your finger tip. 

With your anger still controlling you, you look towards Kylo Ren. No longer is he slumped on the floor with his back against the wall, but standing a few feet away from you. 

“You’ve had enough.” He bellows. Raising his right arm out in front of him, he clicks his fingers and you fall into darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, lemme know what you think <3


	6. Apathy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _You’re a murderer, and you don’t mind._

_There’s no wind as the golden sun shines down on you, warming your freezing skin. The warmth, it feels almost foreign to you, so unnatural. You feel, for the first time in a long time, at peace._

_The overgrown meadow that surrounds you, comforts you. You don’t feel any immediate danger here; the mere thought of a venomous snake hiding within the undergrowth is comical. Nothing can hurt you now._

_Looking down at yourself as you sit cross-legged on the grass, you notice your hands, they look overworked. Your right hand dons a particularly brutal jagged scar across your palm. This would normally be the kind of thing that would concern you, however, it does not. What’s done is done._

_Your clothes, they’re black and torn up, the end of your cape is burnt to a crisp. Your shoes - if you can still call them that anymore - are broken; the soles are coming apart at the seams. This doesn’t concern you; they’re only shoes, material possessions mean nothing._

_Turning around, looking past the overgrown nature, there’s a thick cloud of dark smoke coming from behind the tall blades of grass._

_Standing up on shaking legs, you stand on your tiptoes. It looks like a shuttle. You’ve came across a few ships in your lifetime, but this one isn’t immediately recognisable to you._

_Walking towards the wreck, everything seems out of place. You can see something that clearly ended in an explosion, however, you can’t seem to hear anything. Clicking your fingers beside your ear, you wait for the noise. Nothing comes, your shock is probably blocking your senses. This isn’t concern you._

_Continuing towards the ship, you notice the unmoving bodies scattered across the floor. You don’t stop to see who they are; after all, this doesn’t concern you._

_Instead, you feel drawn to something. Your feet keep moving forward as you spot a man. He’s lying on the floor beside the shuttle. You’re not sure why this man has your attention. Maybe it’s the ginger hair that stands out as the sun shines down on it. Maybe it’s something else entirely…_

_Each step you take closer to him, your senses heighten. No longer are your ears blocked, the high pitched whining of the shipwreck strikes your sensitive ears. You cough and splutter as the black smoke from the engine fills your lungs. Your body may be reacting to the circumstances that surround you, but you feel nothing._

_Stopping in front of the ginger man, something about him seems familiar. Kneeling down, you pick up the black hat that has been discarded near his head. You rub your thumb across the red cog-like shape that’s stitched onto it._

_Placing the hat back down on the floor, you move to check his pulse. The second your finger brushes against his soft skin your heart begins to race. Sadness. Fear. Connection. Emotions crash into you, stabbing at your heart. Your eyes fill with tears as you look down at the man’s closed eyes. This concerns you._

_Your vision changes, the scenery whirling around you. No longer is it bright, beautiful and warm, instead it’s dimly lit, monochrome and cold._

_Through tunnel vision, you see yourself standing alone in a crowded training room._

_Your burnt clothes are suddenly looking brand new. Your black tank top and leggings to match stand out like a sore thumb in the crowd of white-armoured soldiers._

_Your tunnel vision and third person perspective disappears. Instead, you see Stormtrooper’s turning to look at you, staring at you. Doing a 360 turn, you feel their masked eyes on you, burning into you. As soon as the thought rolled through your conscience, the stares of those around you began to literally burn; it feels as though your exposed skin is on fire. In a fit of panic, you check your bare arms only to see they look normal, completely untouched._

__The room spins, whisking away the surrounding Stormtroopers._ _

__When the room finally stops, you’re sitting on a bench whilst the other ‘troopers do their muscle work. Your body feels heavy as sweat drips down your face, dropping down onto the wooden bench._ _

__”Just what do you think you’re doing?” booms a particularly mad Captain Phasma; her voice starting out as a modulated female voice, eventually turning into a menacing one. Her helmet changes, the darker part of her mask where her mouth is upturns like a Cheshire cat as her face inches closer to yours._ _

__”I’m taking a break,” you reply before taking a swig from your water bottle. Your voice sounding a lot quieter than you wanted it to._ _

___”You’ll rest when I say you can rest.” She begins, dragging you up to your feet by the back of your neck. “Now get over there and lift some weights.” She orders, pushing you towards the stack of dumbbells._ _ _

___As you make your ways towards the weights, the room begins to spin. The abstract glimpses of colour and light that pass you by almost show snippets of your complete humiliation: your tired arms not being able to lift the weights; falling over repeatedly; being laughed at; being the weakest link. Your chest burns as you watch the images flash before your eyes.__ _

___Falling on all fours, you throw up._ _ _

___You hear voices coming from behind you as the room stops spinning. Once again, you’re on all fours in a crowded room full of ‘troopers. They’re staring at you, laughing._ _ _

___If only you could use the Force, you know, you could show these suckers what you’re made of. In fact, that’s exactly what you’re going to do._ _ _

___Triumphantly getting to your feet, you feel your anger flowing through your body, making your fingertips tingle._ _ _

___You scream, using the Force to blow everyone in the room back against the walls. The laughter is replaced by grunting as their worthless bodies bounce off the wall and gracelessly hit the floor._ _ _

___In the sea of knocked down soldiers, you notice a lightsaber laying in the middle of the room. Using the Force, it comes flying into your outstretched hand. Looking at it in your hand, it feel so right. Igniting it, Kylo Ren’s lightsaber exhilarates you; you have never before felt this much power._ _ _

__As the Stormtroopers around the room start to get to their feet, you cut them down one by one; slicing their heads off, cutting their limbs into pieces. Making them suffer. They deserve it._ _

__In the blink of an eyes, you see yourself in third person. Watching as you cut people down, blood splattering all over your face and body. Your irises turn yellow as you smile like a psychopath when looking down at your victims._ _

__You’re a murderer, and you don’t mind._ _

Waking up with a start, your sweaty palms grip the thin, slightly itchy sheets that cover you. Your eyes, wide and unblinking as they stare at the white tiled ceiling, something which is vaguely recognisable in the back of your mind. 

A bead of sweat runs down your face from your wetter-than-a-paddling-pool hairline. Unclenching your fists, you run your clammy hand through your hair, grimacing at the thick layer of sweat running free between the hairs on your head as the drip that’s attached to the back of your hand tugs tightly at your skin. A sharp pinprick pain arises in your hand causing you to move your hand back down to your lap. 

_Medbay_ , you think, registering the pain behind your eyes and the dimmed, but still white-than-moof-milk room. The medbay is a weird place, it doesn’t seem as though it belongs to the dark and gloomy Finalizer. 

Wincing, you close your eyes, something feels off in your left eye. Your head hurts too much. 

Covering your eyes with your hands, you take a few deep breaths. It feels almost as if someone’s finger has somehow penetrated through your temple and is poking at your brain. However, that pain, that was just a tickle a few moments ago, feels like a screwdriver now, relentlessly drilling into your head. The left side of your head, neck, and shoulders hurt to the touch. Your right side, however, feels okay in comparison. 

Despite the immense pressure in your head and the utterly debilitating pain, you try to sit up slightly, the idea of calling for help pops into your mind as you do so. 

Butterflies erupt in your stomach as little sparks of light ease into your vision. After a few minutes, the butterflies swirl in your stomach, creating the uneasy feeling of nausea. Dry heaving, you quickly put your hands over your mouth. Deciding that you felt much better when lying down, you change positions, wondering what you could have possibly done that’s deserving of this kind of torture. 

_Well, besides murdering a bunch of Stormtroopers in your dream._

Thinking back to the last thing you remember, your horrific training with Captain Phasma and the gang springs to mind, something that seems to have given your terribly vivid nightmares. 

You also remember Kylo Ren coming into your room… something about training… 

Closing your eyes, you try and remember the last thing that happened. 

In your mind’s eye, you picture yourself standing in the middle of the training room, your arm outstretched in the direction of Kylo Ren, using the Force in an attempt to push him back. It doesn’t work. Blood drips from your nose as you attempt to push him back again. 

Opening your eyes again, you move your hand to your nose, much like you did in your recollection of what happened, you feel something crusty around your left nostril. You must have pushed yourself too hard and given yourself a nosebleed. 

After that, you don’t remember anything. It feels safe to assume that Kylo used his Force magic on you because you were getting a little too big for your boots. You seems to be having too many Force related incidents. Not only is it causing you pain, but it’s pushing your plans back. You can hardly save your family from beyond the grave. 

From here on out, you have to stop being so emotional. You _have_ to play the part your were brought here to play. 

“... a few day’s worth, at least.” Someone says, bringing your attention back to the present. The voice, it’s more of a something as opposed to a someone. The voice sounds very modulated, completely computerised. 

“If General Hux finds himself needing more, he can feel free to come down here to be assessed. If not, this is all he’s allowed” A woman’s voice replies, sounding extremely kind, unbothered by the unnatural sounding voice that she’s talking to. 

“Very well,” the robotic voice replies after a brief pause. 

Giving up on eavesdropping, you relax. Whatever is going on with General Hux has absolutely nothing to do with you. Given your recent pain, you shouldn’t even spend time thinking about him. Your energy needs to be spent on Kylo Ren. 

The door to your room suddenly opens, the light from the main area streaming in, causing even more pain to erupt in your head, especially behind your left eye. Moaning, you squint, seeing you dares disturb you. 

_The nurse._

“How are you feeling?” she asks, her voice matching the one you were listening to a few minutes ago. 

You wince, you find her voice, although friendly, very loud. “You’re talking too loud.” you spit, lightly massaging your forehead with your fingers. 

“Well, this should help with that,” she cheers, heading towards you. 

Her heels click against the metal floor as she approaches you causing your head to throb. Whose brilliant idea was it to have metal floors in the first place? 

Opening your eyes a tad, you see her standing next to the bed, holding out a glass of water and a little paper cup, presumably filled with medication. 

Sitting up slightly, you take the paper cup from her first, looking inside at the purple capsule and the white, round pill. 

“What are these?” You ask, your voice sounding rough. 

“Medication to help with your migraine.” She states matter-of-factly. 

You pop the tablets in your mouth before downing the water, handing both cups back to her when you’re done. 

“What was that thing out there? It sounded like a robot?” you ask, your voice sounding better after the hydration. 

“A droid. When the higher ups are too busy, they send droids on their errand runs.” As she speaks, she sits down in the chair beside your bed. 

You nod slightly, feeling the side effects of the drugs kicking in. “What’s the matter with General Hux?” you ask, unsure why you care. 

“The same as you.” She states, eyeing you as your eyes roll. “Anyway, enough chit-chat. You should rest.” She promptly stands, leaving the room as you fall asleep. 

  
Waking up a few hours later, you bring your hands to your face, gently rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. The few extra hours of sleep seems to have helped your migraine a little. 

Cracking your eyes open, you notice a black figure sitting in your peripheral. Looking to your left, through squinted eyes, you see Kylo Ren sitting where the nurse sat a few hours previous. 

You wonder if you should say something. 

Turning your head to the side, you close your eyes, wishing the pain would go away. 

You jump as you hear a bang on the table beside you. Opening your eyes, you turn your head to the left again to see Kylo Ren placing your little paper cup and a cup of water down on the table. Even if it was a little rough and abrupt, you appreciate the gesture. 

Sending him a weak smile, you grab the glass of water. Sipping it, you welcome the cooling feeling that travels down your throat. 

“You need to learn to control your anger.” Kylo Ren interjects, breaking the uncomfortable silence. 

Painfully, you look at him out of the corner of your eyes. “All due respect, _master,_ ” you begin, filling his self appointed title with venom, “you need to stop taunting me with my family. How to you expect a beginner to maintain such control when you’re trying to elicit such a reaction from me?” You spit, giving him your evil-squinting eyes. 

“That’s irrelevant. You have to control yourself or you’ll never learn how to use it.” He preaches, his voice getting louder has he progresses. You loathe him for it, he knows about you migraine. 

Facing ahead of you, you lightly rub your temples and forehead in an attempt to alleviate the pain. “Maybe you should consider changing your approach, especially considering this is my second time here.” 

In your peripheral, you see him leaning forward, grabbing your medication, he places it in your hand. His leather clad hand touching your naked one for a little too long, considering this is the first real contact you’ve made with him whilst fully conscious. “As soon as you’re cleared to leave, come straight to me.” With that, he gets up and and walks towards the door. 

Staring down at the medication in your hand, you think back to your dream, you never want anything like that to happen. You may have felt powerful but you don’t want to become a monster. “Will I have to kill people?” you ask quietly, looking down at the purple and white pills. 

Stopping dead in his tracks, he moves his head slightly to the side, almost looking at you over his shoulder. “Take your medication.” He says before leaving. 

As the door clicks shut behind him, dread fills your stomach. 

As you tip the medication and water into your mouth, your mind races over what Kylo Ren has in store for you. His avoidance of the possibility of you killing someone has you on edge. By the end of this, are you going to have completely lost who you are? You wonder, if, after everything they do to you, your family will recognise who you are beyond simple appearances. 

Regardless, you’ll do what must be done. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, lemme know what ya think <3


End file.
